Fool to Believe
by Sekhmet's Knight
Summary: (Song-fic) {A/G, One sided A/J} An angsty Jonathon muses on Alanna and George's wedding day. The song is "The Show Must Go On" from Moulin Rouge.


**_            DISCLAIMER: _**I seriously do not own any of the characters in this Fic. Tamora Pierce does. The song is owned by Baz Luhermann  from Moulin Rouge. If you don't think the song fits, I'm sorry, but I was watching, actually more hysterically sobbing, Moulin Rouge, and the idea just sort of hit me. Oh and if anyone has any qualms about George's well-spokeness, I have a copy of _Lioness Rampant_ and by the end, he only drops his _g_s. And I guess he would have made an extra effort to speak properly. 

            **Random Shout-Out:** _Strictly Ballroom_, the first installment of the _Red Curtin Trilogy_, is absolutely FANTASTIC!!!! It's light, free, funny and you don't tend to burst into tears every time you watch it. If you haven't seen it already, **DO SO!!!**

**            This Chapter is Dedicated to Lucy Wang, Stuffed Dodo: **

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_I was a fool to believe_

_A fool to believe_

_It all ends today_

_Yes, it all ends today_

_Today's the day, when dreaming ends_

_~Satine, Moulin Rouge_

****

**_Another hero, another mindless crime_**

**_Behind the curtain, in the pantomime _**

_I don't really know what I'm doing here._

****

**_On and on, does anybody know?_**

**_What we are living for?_**

_Okay, so maybe I do. I'm here to honour and watch my best friend get married to a common-born _thief_. Not that Alanna would care about rank. No, not the Lady Knight. _

****

**_Whatever happened? We leave it all to chance_**

_So here I am, smiling, congratulating Alanna and George, joking with Gary and Raoul and being a loving and being a devoted husband to a pregnant, but still beautiful Thayet._

_But it's all an act. _

**_Another parting, another failed romance_**

_Each smile is a false smile, full of the deceit I been forced to gather specially for this occasion, every loving kiss I bestowed on Thayet was full of guilt, knowing that I married her on an infatuation, not on true love._

_While I watch my_ true _love marry__ the former King of Thieves._

****

**_On and on, does anybody know?_**

**_What we are living for?_**

As I am watching, full of dark thoughts, the organ starts to boom, and Alanna starts to walk down the aisle. I felt my breath catch. She was wearing a simple but elegant white gown, with bright gold hemming, a white veil hiding her face. Her uncovered fiery hair was held back with two ornate combs.

**_The Show must go on!_**

****

My heart was pounding, my blood was rushing, seeing her so graceful, so beautiful. But it all turned to ice when she smiled not at me but at George. I was barely winning the struggle to keep the pain of my face, to keep the calm, cheerful façade.

**_The Show must go on!_**

****

"Jon, are you alright?' Thayet's quiet voice breaking through my despair, the almost painful silence in my head.

I faked a yawn. "Yes, Dear, I'm just a tired."

 **_Outside, the dawn is breaking on the stage,_**

****

A soft smile spread across her face, "Oh, good," she murmured, gently laying her head on my shoulder. I kissed her forehead.

****

**_That holds our final destiny!_**

****

More lies. A show that I preformed flawlessly.

****

**_The Show must go on!_**

**_The Show must go on!_**

****

"We are gathered here today to witness the joining of matrimony of Sir Alanna of Trebond and Baron George of Pirate's Swoop…" The Priest's voice droned on, each word a count down to when Alanna would be out of my grasp forever.

****

**_Inside my heart is breaking,_**

****

            "George, you have always been there for me. You always let me fly, but you were always there to cushion my falls and put back on my feet. Whenever I was in trouble, you would always be there in a second. I love you, George." Alanna's voice echoed slightly in the halls, her words ringing with sincerity and love. There were soft sighs from the other guests, but there were the tips of knives, heated to the point of burning anything they touched, pressing into my flesh, particularly over my heart. "I swear to love and honour you, care for you through sickness and health, to remain faithful to you until the day that I die." Alanna finished. I felt one of those knives break past the gentle torture and plunge deep into my heart. A moan escaped my lips, so soft that even Thayet couldn't hear it.

****

**_My make-up may be flaking,_**

****

            "Alanna, my dear," George started in his rough, un-educated drawl, "You are a one of a kind lass. And that's why I love you. I love the way you smile, the way you lose your temper. The how you can be gentle and tough. You're my heroine, Love. I swear to love you, as I always have, until death do us part." The knife already embedded in my heart turned slowly, an excruciatingly exquisite pain.

****

**_But my smile still stays on._**

****

"…I know announce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." George lifted Alanna's veil and kissed her, to the cheers of the crowd. I too clapped, cheered, seeming happy, but wishing that something would happen to end my life at this second, end my torture.

****

**_The Show must go on!_**

**_The Show must go on!_**

The orchestra started with a slow waltz at the reception. George took Alanna in his arms and laughing, they both gracefully moved with the music. I offered my arm to Thayet, which, smiling she took as we too glided on to the dance floor. 

**_I'll top the bill,_**

I bent down slightly and captured Thayet's perfect lips with my own, reminding myself of what was supposed to be. She was my wife, my queen, and I was the King. We were known as the perfect couple, and it was true. Our looks matched and complimented each others, and Thayet refused to let me get too arrogant. 

We were good for each other. 

And like Alanna had said George had always let her fly. Convention would have had her trapped in a dress and a corset. I would have had her trapped in crown and regal gowns, bored out of her mind. The Dragon would have trapped her with a broken wing, only a kitten, never a cat. But George, he had always stood back and supported her. Never forced her to do anything, and would always be there to catch her. Despite all my bitterness, I want Alanna to be happy.

****

**_I'll earn the kill._**

When I broke this kiss I chanced a look over at Alanna and George. Alanna had her head resting on George's chest; George's eyes were looking down at the top of her hair, his eyes filled with unspeakable love. My breath caught, and I felt like hot knifes had been pressed into me once more. 

****

**_I have to find the will to carry on with the,_**

**_On with the, _**

They looked so mis-matched, George was tall, with a nose to big for good looks, and Alanna was short, from the boyish features in her face to her hair cut to her earlobes, she couldn't be called more than 'cute'. But there was unmistakeable love there, something that brought joy to most hearts, knowing that such love existed, but only pain to mine, knowing that the woman I revered, I truly loved, was with another man.

****

**_On with the,_**

**_On with the Show!_**

"Aren't they so sweet?" Thayet inquired innocently, acutely unaware of my true feelings.

"Very," was my short reply. My voice was strong, but I kept my face away from hers so that she would not see my tears.

**_On with the Show!_**

**_On with the Show!_**

_Today's the day when dreaming ends._

****

**_The Show must go on!_**

_I was a fool to believe…_


End file.
